aren't really any good. my writings. nobody ever reads them. they just sit here and go to waste. they already are waste, so that part doesnt matter much. i cant help but wish that people would care but in the same moment i dont care if people care. i want to be proud and have a sense of myself in my work but i feel like im losing everything and everyday it gets past me a little farther and im afraid that soon i wont be able to reach it anymore. im scared to death.
i want to fall on my knees and beg the literature gods to bless me with the power the gift the voice the character personality beauty strength knowledge. i want it all but i cant have any of it without effort and experience and books.
i never want to give up on anything that i love you.
and i really love you, a lot. wait for me.
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(dying is an art. like everything else. i do it exceptionally well. i do it so it feels like hell. i do it so it feels real. i guess you could say i've a call)
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