they

aren't really any good. my writings. nobody ever reads them. they just sit here and go to waste. they already are waste, so that part doesnt matter much. i cant help but wish that people would care but in the same moment i dont care if people care. i want to be proud and have a sense of myself in my work but i feel like im losing everything and everyday it gets past me a little farther and im afraid that soon i wont be able to reach it anymore. im scared to death.

i want to fall on my knees and beg the literature gods to bless me with the power the gift the voice the character personality beauty strength knowledge. i want it all but i cant have any of it without effort and experience and books.

i never want to give up on anything that i love you.

and i really love you, a lot. wait for me.